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After about thirty minutes you can hear some noise. It’s coming from over the hill, all laughing and giggling, it sounds like a bunch of girls messing around. You’re pissed off, thinking that this was your secret place, you relax back on the grass thanking God that they had arrived now, and not half an hour ago. You smile at the memory of what you were doing earlier. Ten minutes later, the giggling is still there, you decide to go and investigate. You walk for a few minutes and come tot he top of a hill, there is a small lake, you didn’t even know it was there, with three girls messing around, they look to be in their early twenties, 2 of them are topless splashing about in the water, play fighting, the other girl is laid on the bank watching them, also topless. You watch them for a while, they are far too busy having fun to notice you, the one on the bank catches your eye, her skinny frame and short blond hair look familiar. You can’t quite place her but she looks familiar. She’s. God, how selfish was I? Even now when I remember the way I was thinking back then, it makes me sick to my stomach. Sick and miserable.I wonder what he thinks about me now? Or, if he even does think of me. And did he think of me during all those years? Like I thought of him? How many nights did he fall asleep, his hands holding his erection, wishing it were my hand holding him? As many as I did, using my fingers to ease the pain I felt from not having his body on mine, his hardness inside me where it belonged? All those years lost, the nights we could have been together, making love like we did before it all went to hell. Before I destroyed it all with my stupidity.And what made it even worse for me was that the last man inside me, the last man to have my body wasn't even my husband! It was Hugo! The man that I let destroy my marriage and send the man I love to prison! Hugo! Even now, that thought makes me sick. Sick at heart as well as sick to my stomach. When the memory surfaces, as.
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